Self-Care vs. Self-Indulgence
To be honest, writing this post was a bit tough for me. I literally went back and forth debating ideas for a whole week. Yet, everywhere I went, every small group I participated in, every sermon I heard, every cup of tea with a friend, every moment in Scripture, the Spirit was speaking about obedience. Obedience is not a topic that most people gravitate towards--both when writing and reading--so I wrestled with this for a while before deciding to write about the experience.
Naturally, I found myself asking God over and over what ways I was missing the mark and what ways I needed to obey. One thing that became very clear was that I am not the best at taking care of my health, at stewarding my time and my body well. In response, I went a week without coffee. Yes, you read that right--one week, no coffee.
For those of my friends who know me well, they know that I drink a lot of coffee. Before this mini-fast, I averaged about 24 ounces a day, but there were days I drank as much as 48 ounces of coffee. I'm not just talking about plain coffee with cream and sugar, either. No, I drank fancy coffees--lattes and macchiatos--pretty much anything with espresso and a whole lot of sugar.
At this point, you might be wondering how coffee connects to obedience. I assure you that nowhere in the Bible does God say, "It is a sin to drink coffee." However, He does say that "whatever does not proceed from faith is sin." (See Romans 14:13-23) It's not so much about drinking coffee, but why I drink coffee. When I make my own coffee at home, it is almost a sort of liturgy--I make coffee in the quiet of the morning, pour it into a mug with a little cream and sugar, and sit in quiet with the warm mug in hand as I rest in God's presence. When I purchase coffee with a friend, I am not there for the coffee but for the fellowship. More often than not, when I purchase coffee alone, it isn't entirely for the caffeine kick but for the pleasure I feel--for self-indulgence.
So what's so bad about self-indulgence? After all, the culture is constantly pushing the importance of self-care. Self-care is important, and I will in no way say that our call as Christians is to avoid self-care. However, there's an important distinction between self-care and self-indulgence. While self-care restores and rejuvenates, self-indulgence breaks down and destroys. (For examples of positive self-care, check out this post by my fellow blogger and sister in Christ, Sonia at Live By Faith.)
Pondering the goodness of God over a morning cup of coffee that I've made myself is self-care because I use the time to posture my heart to worship. Buying coffee with a friend is self-care because I am built up in friendship, fellowship, and faith. Even sipping on a small coffee by myself in a coffee shop while I write, people watch, or read a great book is self-care. However, I engage in self-indulgence when I tell myself that I can't get through the day without a coffee, that I have enough money for coffee (when in actuality, I don't), or that coffee will reduce my anxiety.
Funny enough, buying coffee out by myself can actually have the opposite effect in all three areas I just mentioned. Coffee often increases my anxiety, likely because of its stimulant properties. At the same time, it certainly doesn't do much good for my wallet. Also, I can get through the day without coffee. It is not coffee that is so much the problem, but why I drink it. My point is that this principle applies to all the ways I engage in self-indulgence. I should always be asking whether what I am doing is bringing glory to God, building up His kingdom, growing my fellowship with others, and/or bringing restoration to my soul.
It is these things that I should be pursuing, rather than self-indulgence. Self-indulgence sets my mind on my fleshly desires. Yet, Scripture tells us time and time again that sin brings about our destruction. "For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace." (Romans 8:6) Friends, are you trading life and peace for the temporary pleasure of self-indulgence?