This Year, I Resolve to…

Photo by Andressa Voltolini on Unsplash

It’s only in the last number of years that I discovered this idea of choosing a word for the year. It’s interesting how the words I’ve chosen in the past have correlated with the events of my year. In 2018, my word of the year was “simplicity.” I struggled with a strong emotional connection to physical things, and I had the hardest time decluttering because of my sentimentality. In 2018, I moved out for the first time, and this first move helped me see the importance of living simply. To be honest, I couldn't fit everything from my attic bedroom into a 9'x10' apartment bedroom.  I have moved three times in the last year and a half or so, and each time I move, I take less and less with me. I have realized that holding onto things for fear that I may need them in the future reflects a lack of trust in God. Thus, the word “simplicity” correlated with the events of and even influenced my approach to the year 2018.

In 2019, my word of the year was “steadfast.” Oh how I needed this word in 2019, both as a reminder that “the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,” (Lamentations 3:22-23) and that I am to “be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord,” (1 Corinthians 15:58). There were a lot of difficulties that sprung up in 2019. There were changes in my living circumstances, trials in my relationships, family difficulties, health challenges, and financial struggles. The word steadfast was a constant reminder that by relying on God’s steadfastness, I can also be like still waters in the midst of a storm.

As I approached 2020, I struggled to choose a word that seemed fitting for this year and the start to a new decade. I began the last decade entering my 13th year, dancing along the line between childhood and adulthood. In January this year, I turned 23. I am leaving behind the college years (almost - this fall is my last semester) and entering into a new stage requiring a little dose of courage and a heaping dose of trust in the Lord. After much prayer and deliberation, I decided upon two one-word resolutions: confidence and contentment.

In December, I listened to an episode of the Girls Night Podcast (find it here), in which the host, Stephanie May Wilson, and her guest, Caroline Schandel, suggest posting the verse Psalm 27:13-14 on your bathroom mirror. I loved the idea so much that I paused the episode and did so right away. It reads,

“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart, and wait for the Lord.”

I memorized both these verses as a child, but I had memorized them separately. In a way, it seems as though these two verses contradict one another. I've always associated confidence with action. Those who are confident do. Those who are content passively wait. However, waiting well requires confidence and contentment. Confidence in the Lord requires that I am content with waiting, with the path He has laid out for me, and when things don't turn out the way I hope.

As I approached 2020, I felt as though I was being invited to a wide array of opportunities. Many doors were being opened to me, including doors I thought were closed. I have been given an incredible opportunity to place my trust in the Lord’s sovereignty. With confidence, I will kick down every door the Lord places before me, trusting that He will close every door He does not want me to walk through. I will be content and trust that when He closes a door for good, it’s for my benefit, and I will trust that some doors are only meant to be closed for a season. The doors that He doesn’t close, I will confidently walk through, trusting Him to guide me. 2020, I'm ready for any adventures and challenges you throw my way because I am confident and content in the grace of my Lord Jesus.